The bald truth about cynicism

One question before you read anything in this post. Please take a paper and pencil and list down the ten most cynical men you have met in your life. He can be a famous cynical celebrity; your school's principal; or even your distantly related uncle who has staunch doubts about the Indian economy and your company's future in particular (though he thinks that the MNC where his son works is well hedged against all risks). Now that you have written down the names, count the number of bald men in this list. How many did you get?

If you are at any stage of balding yourself, I bet you will cynically complain about the purpose of this exercise, question my sanity and move on to the next complaint. If not, there are bright chances that your answer contained more than half of names in that list. Why did we do this exercise? Let me take a little detour. I had a recent conversation with a very cynical man on a very sensitive topic. What started as a conversation turned into an argument before culminating in a long 'there is no hope' sermon which I was forced to sit out. Thankfully though, halfway into the sermon, this sudden hypothesis struck me and it seems to grow in logic with time as I think of it. Can baldness be related to cynicism in men ?

As I thought further, most cynical people whom I know turn out to be bald, though the corollary does not seem very convincing. Most cynics are bald. All bald men are not cynics.

My bucket list of biking

Image : Thanks to Michael Wilson photography

Motorcycles and horses have a very close similarity in my thinking and they fascinate me equinely - oops .. equally ! I do not know which passion came first but they feed one another mutually with petrol and oats and a lot of dreams. I admired bikers and horsemen alike when I was a kid and as I grew up, I learned to ride one of them and the other one still remains a distant admiration. Considering that I had to wait till I was 18 and officially approved by the state to ride a bike as per my uber-cautious parents, riding a horse seems quite a distance away in my life yet. But I still have a strong hope on the fuel prices and I am just waiting for the day when I can ride my own horse to work :-) If I were to make a bucket list of things to do before I die, horse-riding will definitely figure in that list (the Marina beach horse rides are only teasers and they strictly do not fill this bill). So, that sets aside the status and story of one passion for now. As you read on further, you will be introduced to my bucket list of biking - things that I have planned to do at various stages in my life associated with motorcycles and my current status for them respectively.

Bike and trek to bliss – Chennai to Tada falls

It’s been a long while since I set out on a bike trip after two memorable previous experiences. Moreover I was waiting for the first adventure road trip on my ‘own’ bike too. A lot of plans came and went and finally the wait got a deserving due. Recently I accomplished a road trip to Tada falls (Andhra – Tamil Nadu border) from Chennai and trekked all the way upto the highest point we could touch in that hill. This story summarises that great experience.

The seeds for this trip were sown abroad. A friend (Vasu) of a friend (Anand) who studies abroad (ya... the same geeky GRE MS route after B Tech in Biotechnology) came back home recently. He was impressed by the movie Zindagi na milegi dobara and was planning such a trip with his friends. Anand, who is my colleague too, was browsing for a lot of such adventure tourism places in the 200 km radius of Chennai- mostly during office hours- and thus I came to know of it. Bugged by the bait, I also threw my hat in the ring for that trip. Hats came in plenty very soon into the ring. My friend Danie, who knows neither Anand nor Vasu, heard of this and he too joined in. Danie spread the word and his friends whom I do not know also planned to join. Eventually, we finalised the date and venue with exactly 20 people and 10 bikes to conquer Tada Falls. Funnily, the longest distance in degrees of acquaintance among these 20 turned out to be 4. Yes, connect any of Danie’s friends to Vasu! Try that. Thus we planned for everything and were excited about this trip with great scope for biking, trekking and befriending new people.

(V)ada paavi !!

Foreword: This post is about a sticky situation I experienced in a North Indian city. To be precise, the city is Pune and I recently understood that people there tend to feel bad when some Southie calls them ‘North’ Indians. Well, please remember what Einstein had to say: ‘It’s all relative, brother’. I am a Hindi-illiterate South Indian whose Hindi knowledge is limited to a few movie names (courtesy: The Khans); ‘Keval ek run milega’ sort of cricket commentaries (courtesy: Doordarshan); some swear words (courtesy: Virat Kohli and Harbhajan Singh) and the ABCD stuff like ‘Thumara naam kya hai? Mera nam blah blah blah hai’ (courtesy: Margoschis Matriculation School , upto 7^th standard). Apart from the poor farmer who lives in that famous Hindi village – some Tamilians say his name is Ragu Thatha – I have no acquaintances either in the Hindi speaking land.

You might have read a few open letters in the blogosphere before and my introduction would have already created the urge in you to grab the nearest available Vel Kambu or lathi -depending on your location-  to prepare for battle. If that be the case, I kindly request you to drop them immediately and focus your mind instead on a degree kaapi or dhai lassi – again depending on your location – and then read on. This post is about a Vada paav and an Appavi (roughly translated to a poor innocent man in Tamil) based on a small language problem. If you still refuse to embrace ahimsa, read my epilogue, make sure you forget my name and immediately close this page.  

Once upon a time in the recent past, I got an opportunity to visit Pune for the first time in my life. The northern most place in India I had ever visited prior to that was Bangalore.  The city threw the usual surprises at me as any new place would do for a first timer. Only Pune seemed to have a unique style and flavour of its own to do so – the paan! It was omnipotent, like God. While I could see paan stains everywhere, I also witnessed another feature of the Almighty through my mobile phone. Just like God, my mobile service provider’s network signal also teased me in that big city. It would never show itself to me and just when I start to lose heart and contemplate atheism, it would give me a fleeting vision and then disappear. There was no network coverage even in the city’s main locations. Even if every friend is important to me, this restricted me from calling any of my friends when I am in dire need of location or translation assistance.

One piece less- The soupy situation

Are you a deal freak or a budget conscious big spender? Do you get daily SMS alerts from Snapdeal, Groupon etc.? Do you brighten up on seeing the 'unlimited Biriyani' offers online? Here is a soupy experience of mine which can tickle your funny bone and make you think twice about your choice of the 'unlimited biriyani' cook.

A few days back, I had heeded to a long-pending request (read murder threats) for a treat from my friends to celebrate a happy personal moment. Around 8 friends were invited to the list and I zeroed in on a hitherto unheard restaurant in T Nagar based on a 50% off deal through one of the above sites. One coupon will give us a 50% discount on a minimum bill of Rs 400. I had three coupons and had planned to satiate eight hungry men within Rs 600 (which is double without discount). As luck would have it, 5 of my friends withdrew citing various reasons at the last minutes. Two were stuck by a flu and the rest packed up on unavoidable last minute trips out of Chennai due to their girlfriend, alma mater and employer respectively.

On the D-day, the 3 of us who were match-fit reached the restaurant around dinner time. We appeared like the Indian team that toured England recently - depleted by injuries and absences - and in half-strength. At least team India manages some substitutes. However we were determined to make the missing men repent the lapsed treat. Fate had other plans!

The unusual Vijay fan and the leap of faith

People-watching is a term I used to refer to observing interesting characters who cross you in your daily routine. To read my earlier post on people watching, please click here. This post is a quick bite extension of people-watching adventures. For convenience sake and for some commercial sake, let me call such posts "Anthronicles" from now on...I plan to write a bit more frequently about Anthronicle experiences in here under a separate label..

This particular episode is that of an unusual Vijay fan. For starters who do not know Mr. Vijay (well, I want to write actor Vijay or at least Dr. Vijay but my conscience pricks. However hard I try, that leap of faith seems tough to me. Watch this leap and you will know why) Until yesterday, whenever I think of Vijay and local trains together, I immediately go to an elite feeling of pure innocent joy caused by unadulterated humour (Ok I accept.. not unadulterated ! heroism 20 % humour 80%)

Harley Davidson and the two underwear stories

Out of sheer boredom on a sleepy sunday, I went to the Chennai Elliotts beach alone for some people watching today. (People watching  is a term different from sight-seeing/figure watching/bird watching which is a far vaster terminology inclusive of the latter too). In those four hours, I met some very interesting people who crossed my life. They were only passing clouds and I did not even speak to any of them nor did I see them for more than 2 minutes but these were clouds that formed vivid interesting shapes that stuck to my memory. One by one, here they come!

Raindrop's moment of truth

First raindrop
falls on the glass.
The sky shrinks!

- GS

Read the Tamil version of this haiku here. 

Why you should not browse too much on Bahamas before your Bahamas honeymoon

Enough has already been said about the scary amount of information about us that others know through social networks. Admittedly, being the social animals that we are, we tend to take this scare with a pinch of salt and probably think hard to write a witty one-liner and post it as a status message aiming to get 20 'like's. Hence this article does not in any way force you to forbid social networking. All it tried to do is to make us aware of how the information we let loose can be used (read sold). I, being one of the so-called social animals myself, start this article with my witty one-liner. 

Social network indulgence is subject to privacy risks. Please read data mining carefully before updating status !

Social networks strive to influence and arrange contact and information sharing of many people. Meanwhile they also develop statistical tools to eavesdrop and sell information to the giant ears of the businessmen who eternally want that elusive root cause. This is normal statistical analysis. These sites also sell information to another set of giant business ears which want fodder to run their predictive machines. Fed by information input about us through social networks, marketers decide what to say to whom and whom to say what. 

Let us look at five ways in which social networks can mint money through predictive analytics. 

Humour under the hammer - IPL auction day 1

Today is the day 1 of the much followed IPL player auction 2011. As we have one more day to go, there is no denying that the auctions have been more interesting to watch than IPL itself. Meanwhile, sources very close to the players auctioned (an altered form of the Wikileaks, calling itself the Whacky leaks) reveal never-before published and never-ever-to-be-published reactions. Excerpts of the reactions as follows...