Being single

Have you ever felt that you want to change your relationship status from ‘single’ to another type of ‘single’? Have you ever felt that ‘single’ is too ambiguous for a relationship status? Have you wished for more clarity in being ‘single’? This article will tell you about the seven different categories of being single. Identify which type you are!

The first category is the hesitantly single! He has spotted the special somebody already. He badly wants to give his heart to her. But he is afraid! ‘What if?’ is the most haunting question to him. What if she says no? What if her shoe size is 10? What if her brother goes to gym regularly? All these ‘what if’s make him hesitant. Whenever he looks at her, he gets ready for the first step. Deep breaths; Warm ups; Shadow trials; But at the point of release, he changes his mind suddenly and postpones it. And it happens again, and again, and again! The hesitantly single!

The second category is the hopelessly single. He has no hesitations in taking the first step. In fact he takes it at the drop of a hat. He is a very optimistic guy. At the slightest hint of a violin playing at the back of his heart, he falls for someone. But unfortunately, no body accepts his proposal. They throw his heart back to him immediately. He does not give up; tries again, and again and again. The result is the same- There is no use playing violin at the back of a buffalo. Finally in desperation, he throws the heart out randomly into the air so that someone somewhere accepts it. Alas, gravity returns his heart to him! Hopelessly single!

The next category is the infectiously single! Have you even been with a guy who is infectiously single? You will understand when I say some clues to identify him. He will have a bunch of friends around him. They go to movies only as a group. They would never have gone to a coffee shop. He will not have at least one single acquaintance in the opposite sex. No girl will treat him like a human being. And just because you are hanging up with him, the virus of being ‘single’ infects you too and your hopes will also be lost almost certainly. And when you are infected, the virus passes on to all your friends making them all infectiously single. Eventually, you end up in a whole gang of single guys who are all infectiously single.

Alternately, there is the single playboy who never hangs up with guys. He has one too many girlfriends. He faces a different problem in giving his heart to his love. He has only one heart! It is simply not enough! Just like the nerdy guy who keeps asking additional sheets in exams, he will ask the Almighty for additional hearts, if given a chance. Ask him how he manages it all? He will say the trick is not being truthful to the one you love. It is being truthful to each and every one you love!

The next category is the confused single. He is always in a confusion. Should I love or not? Should I love this girl or not? This girl smiles at me often and without reason. Is she in love with me or not? I am already committed. Should I break-up and go back to being single now? He juggles his heart and fumbles it up often. He does not have a steady heart and hence drops it at some point or the other. Of course it hurts every-time he drops it. But he never learns. He is always confused.

There will be this guy who loves someone without any confusion and utmost dedication. He is gladly, madly, deeply in love but due to some strange reason, it breaks-up! He becomes single AGAIN. Now, as the cynically single. He is the one who has lost faith in love completely; one who acts as if he does not have a heart at all. He is not ready for another love. He hides his heart behind his back. Even if it pops out unconsciously at times, he quickly grabs it and hides it again.

And now to the last category. Imagine those days when you were a child. You always had a ball and the walls for company. You played cricket as a single-player game at home indoors. You were all too happy just being single. And when some worthy companion comes to your door calling, you will gladly take the ball and go out into the street to play. You enjoyed the single-player game and were also ready for the actual ball game. You are just happy being single and are also ready to exchange your hearts when you spot the right one! The happily single!

One quick note before I finish. You all know that the break-up guys are called soup boys now. You know what is the collective noun for the singles? They are the ball boys!

Just like in the game of tennis, they are the ones who see from the sidelines a random pair playing the game in front of them. They carry water bottles and towels for the players. They help the game to continue without interruptions. They nurture hopes of playing the game themselves one day. And in the present moment, they are just ‘ball boys’!

To the ball boys!

 - GS

Image couretsy: Marc Di Luzio