The unusual Vijay fan and the leap of faith

People-watching is a term I used to refer to observing interesting characters who cross you in your daily routine. To read my earlier post on people watching, please click here. This post is a quick bite extension of people-watching adventures. For convenience sake and for some commercial sake, let me call such posts "Anthronicles" from now on...I plan to write a bit more frequently about Anthronicle experiences in here under a separate label..

This particular episode is that of an unusual Vijay fan. For starters who do not know Mr. Vijay (well, I want to write actor Vijay or at least Dr. Vijay but my conscience pricks. However hard I try, that leap of faith seems tough to me. Watch this leap and you will know why) Until yesterday, whenever I think of Vijay and local trains together, I immediately go to an elite feeling of pure innocent joy caused by unadulterated humour (Ok I accept.. not unadulterated ! heroism 20 % humour 80%)

Harley Davidson and the two underwear stories

Out of sheer boredom on a sleepy sunday, I went to the Chennai Elliotts beach alone for some people watching today. (People watching  is a term different from sight-seeing/figure watching/bird watching which is a far vaster terminology inclusive of the latter too). In those four hours, I met some very interesting people who crossed my life. They were only passing clouds and I did not even speak to any of them nor did I see them for more than 2 minutes but these were clouds that formed vivid interesting shapes that stuck to my memory. One by one, here they come!

Raindrop's moment of truth

First raindrop
falls on the glass.
The sky shrinks!

- GS

Read the Tamil version of this haiku here. 

Why you should not browse too much on Bahamas before your Bahamas honeymoon

Enough has already been said about the scary amount of information about us that others know through social networks. Admittedly, being the social animals that we are, we tend to take this scare with a pinch of salt and probably think hard to write a witty one-liner and post it as a status message aiming to get 20 'like's. Hence this article does not in any way force you to forbid social networking. All it tried to do is to make us aware of how the information we let loose can be used (read sold). I, being one of the so-called social animals myself, start this article with my witty one-liner. 

Social network indulgence is subject to privacy risks. Please read data mining carefully before updating status !

Social networks strive to influence and arrange contact and information sharing of many people. Meanwhile they also develop statistical tools to eavesdrop and sell information to the giant ears of the businessmen who eternally want that elusive root cause. This is normal statistical analysis. These sites also sell information to another set of giant business ears which want fodder to run their predictive machines. Fed by information input about us through social networks, marketers decide what to say to whom and whom to say what. 

Let us look at five ways in which social networks can mint money through predictive analytics. 

Humour under the hammer - IPL auction day 1

Today is the day 1 of the much followed IPL player auction 2011. As we have one more day to go, there is no denying that the auctions have been more interesting to watch than IPL itself. Meanwhile, sources very close to the players auctioned (an altered form of the Wikileaks, calling itself the Whacky leaks) reveal never-before published and never-ever-to-be-published reactions. Excerpts of the reactions as follows...

'Cat'egoric denials

THIS ....

BECAME THIS WITH SOME GS INTERVENTION ...

Dedicated to all happy-go-lucky romeos !! :-)

-GS

A story of exams in colleges told in pictures

Cheers
GS

The appalling fate of the apostrophe

This post is for the love and support of a long-time friend - the apostrophe. In friendship, it is but true that with deeper understanding, the bonding grows stronger. That is how we became thick friends. Out of many friends that I met in the grammatical highway, the apostrophe remains unique because not many people seemed to understand it rightly. It was bullied, abused and tortured. Alas,  there was even a strong movement waiting to just eradicate it from the planet. Its only respite and reason to live are a few understanding people like us. 

We feel for the tigers and small birds and oil-bathed fishes facing extinction. What about the silent murders of genuine language, friends? I, for now, raise my voice in favour of my friend apostrophe, at the risk of being called a nerd or a loser or worse still, a purist! Doesn't matter. It is for the love of the known.

Do you think Wren and Martin or Tholkaapiar did not laugh heartily for a joke in their lives? Do you think they did not love and make kids (of course in addition to making some rules) ? The point is they were normal people too, who were also smitten by the love of the known. They knew the language and its intricacies and fell in love with it. 

The apostrophe is now facing a three-pronged attack  from evil forces. Let me try to negate them one by one.

Threat #1. Problem of plenty:-

Oil is scarce. Apostrophe is not. Use it as you like it!

There is a great human tendency of adding one more lock to the already existing 1672 locks on the treasure-case, should a doubt just arise about its safety. After all, what stops them? Apostrophes are stuck in this problem of plenty with people in doubt. Who stops them from using one where ever an 'S' follows? Just Do It... O pity!

 

How often do you listen to people writing plurals in possession- apple's , banana's, martini's, masal dosa's .... Please note that these are rogue corrupt materialists who want everything in plurals and in their possession always. They are huge threats to the sanctity of the world and the recent global economic recession was a direct cause of their adventurous overdrives. 

Be frugal with apostrophes. You can't litter the conversation space with apostrophes just because they are free to use. Know where to use it and act wisely. In future, you definitely won't get a message like "1411 apostrophes left". But "1411 proper-users of apostrophe left" is definitely possible. 

Threat #2. There are enough curves already. Who cares? :-

There are enough curves already there.
Why bother for one more?

If you think its okay, THAT'S NOT! It has to be "it's" (or) "that's" if you were bothered about the underlying message of Paris Hilton's
T-shirt. 

Sure there is no dearth of curves around in this world. So if you think there is no point in bothering about another innocent unglamorous little curvy punctuation, (and if you think the blonde won't notice the apostrophe that you missed), think again!

There are too many people in the world who just don't care about the finer details. They don't bother to read between the lines of a loan contract and eventually sink the world in recession. They don't bother to  spot and appreciate the girlfriend's tiny ear-piercing from yesterday and end up breaking relationships. They don't bother to read all their answer options thoroughly before missing the "All the above" in the 5th option. The apostrophe is just another redundant detail that they omit. 

Wake up! Pay attention to detail! The apostrophe can teach you a a lesson of watchfulness. It can save your home, woo your girlfriend (only if you don't bother to bother about her apostrophe abuse) and earn you reputation and status. 

Threat #3. I hate possessiveness:-

Gentlemen, I thoroughly understand if you are open-minded and resent your girlfriend's possessiveness. You  may know to use the apostrophe but it is an attitude issue here with you. You don't want to show off possession. You are liberal, broad-minded and can go with anyone out there. The apostrophe is a sign of closed-thinking, possessiveness and obsolescence to you. 

Your attitude can be changed easily with a changed perception. Please do not think the apostrophe as your girlfriend's possessiveness. Think of it as the divine feeling of anger and thirst for the blood of the bas***d who takes your girl away from you. The apostrophe will look more beautiful than your girl's curves to you now. 

Have you ever noticed? The apostrophe's possession context symbolises a divine truth. You never use an apostrophe to show your material possession. It is "mine" and not "mine' ". It only reiterates the possession of the second or third or any nth person. It politely asks you not to boast about your materialistic possessions and be aware of the possession of the other man and respect it. Is it not the message given by greats like Gandhi as prescription for global peace and brotherhood?

As you see now, the apostrophe, my dear friend, is a soft and genuine symbol of abstinence, wisdom, respect to humanity, global peace and also your girlfriend's curves. There is absolutely nothing to hate about it. Please save the apostrophe!!!

-An earnest friend's open request

Please read voices from more friends of the apostrophe here . 

Send a friend request to apostrophe here 

GS

The atheist I admired at the Luz temple

Let us leave the arguments on which side I am going to be in for now. For now, I am neither an atheist nor a theist. This post is about a poor, cheerful, sentimental atheist whom I admired at a Ganesh temple in Chennai recently.

It was the birth day for Ganesha and the famous Luz Pillayaar temple was bustling with cars and crowd like his pot-belly. The time was around 9 30 PM and I get down from the 29C bus and walk towards my shelter at Luz Corner ie five blocks behind Ganesha. As I was crossing the road, I see a cyclist pedalling parallelly to me. As per the theory of relativity, he seemed to be static with my frame of reference as we were both travelling at approximately same speeds. But as per humanity, I sensed a different sense of relativity with the man.

He was pedalling with an old lady in the carrier, whose face was filled with joy and pride. This cyclist was talking to her as he was pedalling and I overheard the conversation as thus: (roughly translated into English)

"Look ! Look at the number of cars and the number of people here. All are people like you...Devoted to God. But not like us.. they are rich. Their biggest concern will be their posh cars and parking spaces even when they are waiting in line to be blessed inside. We are not like them .. We can walk in carefree and drop a prayer or a hello and walk on......

Look at the crowd. Look at the energy and life in this. Forget rich and poor. The festival is for all. What are you doing with your small 'pillayaar' (Tamil name for the Lord Ganesha) at home? If you want to pray and celebrate Chathurthi, do it in style amidst the big fellows in the famous temple.. Won't I take you here ? "

I thought at that moment that he was a pious god-believing mother-loving young worker-class man. In the next few minutes, half of my assumptions turned out to be right and this paradox increased my admiration for him. He stopped his bicycle amidst Corollas and Santros. There was no room to barge into the temple but the sanctum santcorum was visible through the grilled windows outside.

The cyclist finds a position with the best view for his short mother outside the window and talks on...

"Here you go. Now pray and talk to your God. Ask him everything except for making me believe in him. Don't try to go deep inside the crowd. They will squeeze you in the excitement.

If you want to pray, I will make you pray in style. Doesn't matter whether I do or not. I will go buy some stuff and come. Wait here after praying. Don't go inside. I won't be far. I will be within eye-shot only"

Now, hold on,  I thought he too wanted to wish Ganesh when he pedalled his old mother here. What made him bring his mother, who was praying simply in her home with her small clay 'pillayaar', to make her stand amidst the city's top richies at the Luz temple? What status is he looking to showcase? From his talks, I understood that his home must not be in a normal pedalling distance from the temple. So , why?

Whatever, I admired him for respecting his mother's (or anyone's) belief in spite of his atheism. For I know a lot of people who force their opinions on others in sensitive issues- be it atheism, religion or even an IPL team.

I admired him for taking the effort to provide the best Ganesh Chathurthi experience to his mother. How many sons at his social class would bother to make his mother feel 'a part' of the big society at least for an hour?

I admired him for his individuality. Even if he was obliging his mother's wish, he did not give up his stance on God and walked away with this knee-fold lungi to the petty shop at Luz Corner , within his mother's eyeshot.

Seems there were worthy lessons of life to learn from this lungi-clad athletic worker-class atheist. Let his mother be proud !!!

-GS

My angel's flower-bud sister

O my love angel ..
Your scent , a dew-dipped flower's name
Even a flower bud too heavy on your delicate frame !

Awaiting your arrival , 
Excitedly oscillates my life's beat
Chatting with the park and your empty seat .

At that moment
A shine yellow flower bud falls on your place
From the shade tree that understood my trance. 

The flower bud
Then looked at me with a smile reminding yours
Trying even in vain to emulate your fragrance .

What do I do ?
Command it, to vacate my angel's seat ? or
Converse with it to soothe my wait's heat ?

What do I say ?
That my angel is prettier than it by miles ? or
That both have beauty unique in different styles ?

To my relief then
You walk towards me , wings flapping ,
Aroma, Breeze and Delight as friends flanking.

Now I am confused .
Romance is best experienced in solitude. 
With too many intruders, are we diluting its magnitude ?

You come within kissing distance 
Are you going to blow away your flower-sister
Or doubt that I sought another company with a look sinister ?

As I twitch in fear
The poor bud melts in awe at your appeal
My heart captures the moment , savouring its feel .

Without much thought
At a gentle stroke, you swept the bud down the chair
The heart-broken tree cried and shouted it was unfair .

" O poor cute thing "
I empathise with the bud and hold it in my palms
And look up to see your eyes, fiery like nuclear arms .

In fury
You stare cold and walk away from me
I see in my palm , a cute yellow enemy .

Helpless , 
I blame the flower bud and the tree
And run for you on a convincing spree. 

= Writtten in Tamil by Vetri Kumaran . Adapted in English by Gomathi Shankar